A couple months ago my friend Jamey asked me if I wanted to do a mud run. The rest of the conversation is hazy, but apparently at some point [...]]]> I know I owe you all a post about how awesome the house is and stuff, but I have to share this first. It’s worth it.

A couple months ago my friend Jamey asked me if I wanted to do a mud run. The rest of the conversation is hazy, but apparently at some point I said I would. The last time we’d decided to do the Warrior Dash, we eventually backed out of it. So when I agreed to do the Mach 1 Mud Run, I probably thought we wouldn’t go through with that one either. I was wrong.

Last Wednesday Jamey sends me a text asking if I want to get muddy on Saturday. Without thinking, I respond “Sure!” and immediately second guess myself. Next thing I know, it’s Saturday morning and we’re about to do a 5K+ through mud and over obstacles. I ask repeatedly “What the hell are we doing?” and Jamey just laughs. We got there entirely too early, so we had the chance to sit around and look at all the costumes people had created. There were tutus, and facepaint, and an entire group of guys and girls dressed as 80′s aerobic instructors. We were relatively boring in comparison:

But by the middle of the race, you couldn’t tell if we had tutu’s or face paint because we were COVERED in mud. Jamey had the forethought to bring a waterproof camera so we could have blackmail photos document this experience.

The course was crazy. Just over 5K (almost 4 miles) of mud pits to swim through, tires to jump through, walls to climb, ropes to swing from, hay bales to jump over, and nets to climb under (through mud of course). It was so much fun. I managed to fall off the top of the cargo net and bash up my arm, while also landing flat on my back. My middle name is Grace, clearly. Aside from a few cuts and bruises, we both managed to get through the entire course alive in 1 hour and 4 seconds. Not a great time by any stretch, but it gives us something to work for next year!

Thanks for forcing me to do this, Jamey. I had a great time! I can’t wait for next year!

We put offers on 347 different [...]]]> Looking for a house in this market sucks. Plain and simple. Everything is a short sale or foreclosure. The regular sales are gone before they’re even posted online. The short sales take MONTHS to go through, if you can even get a call back in the first place. It’s downright depressing.

We put offers on 347 different houses (or so). Some of them we STILL have not heard back on. Our first choice, however, finally approved us and we’re currently in escrow!

Holy cow, y’all! We bought a house!

The house is slightly larger than the one we have now, and has a nice sized backyard that we can (someday) put a pool in. There are 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and the master bedroom has a walk-in closet that is bigger than the bedroom I had as a kid (I’m not kidding. I actually measured.) It needs new paint and carpet, but is in otherwise good shape. We’re both really looking forward to making it exactly what we want it to be.

I’m excited and terrified all at the same time. The house was a foreclosure, so we’re dealing with a bank instead of a person. They asked for a speedy escrow, so we’ll close on Monday,April 18th (barring any obstacles, and assuming we don’t close early). That’s great, except we have to be out of our current house on Tuesday the 19th.  That doesn’t exactly make for a smooth move. Right now we have a POD in front of our house, that we’re filling with as much stuff as we can. Next week we’ll switch that out for another one, and put the rest of our stuff into it. The Pod people will store it for us until we get the keys to the house, and then they’ll deliver both to our new driveway for us to unpack at our leisure. I love that part!

My favorite part (aside from just owning a home for the first time in my life) is that we’ll be very close to both of Donald’s sisters. Both of them live less than 2 miles away, so we’ll get to spend a lot more time watching the kids in all of their sports and activities. (Plus, by the time we have kids, the older ones will be able to babysit for us). I’m very fortunate in that I don’t have to pretend to like his sisters or their husbands. I genuinely like all of them, and am glad we’re close!

Less than 3 weeks to go before we move in! Wow, I have a lot to do!

Written If you Give a Mouse a Cookie style (kind of)

If you have [...]]]> My sister is by far one of the funniest people I know (often unintentionally). When she sent me this e-mail, I immediately asked her if I could post it here so others could enjoy. Thankfully, she’s not shy. Ladies and gentlemen: The Jen.

Written If you Give a Mouse a Cookie style (kind of)

If you have a dog, it will shed.  You will have people coming over the next day, so you will need to clean up the house.  You will start by putting all of the dog toys away while she sadly watches you from outside the window.  You begin to vacuum the carpet and see how much dog hair is on the couch.  You decide to clean that too and an hour later the carpet and couch have been cleaned.  Your dog, seeing that everything is clean, runs in the house and jumps on the couch.  You kick her off and cover the couch with sheets to prevent more hair from getting on them.  She smells the sheets and goes back outside to watch you.  While you have the vacuum out, you decide to vacuum the tile as well.  All of this vacuuming makes you tired so you sit down for a few minutes to rest.  Your dog, seeing you resting, comes in and decides it is time to play.  You feel mean ignoring her, so you throw a few of the toys.  The next thing you know an hour has gone by and all of the toys are all over the house again.  Seeing all the toys on the floor will remind you that you were going to mop the tile.  You once again pick up all of the dog toys.  Being that close to the ground reveals how much dog hair is still on the tile.  You get out the swiffer sweeper vac and vacuum the tile for the second time.  After finishing vacuuming you remember that it is trash night and decide to take the trash out.  You don’t want the dog to track dirt in on your nicely swept floor so you leave her inside.  You move the trashcans out to the street and return to the house.  Upon walking into the house you see how excited your dog is to see you and notice she has been jumping up and down waiting for you.  Jumping up and down causes her to shed more getting more hair on the floor.  You decide that you will probably need to vacuum the floor again before you mop.  As you reach down to get her toy off the floor, you glance and see all the dirt on the baseboards.  Seeing all that dirt makes you decide you should clean those baseboards.  You get down on your hands and knees and begin to clean the baseboards with clorox wipes (It’s now about 10:30)  While cleaning the baseboards you see all the dirt and mud the dog has gotten on the walls.  You decide that while you are down there, you might as well get the dirt off the wall.  As you clean the baseboards where the carpet is, you see how much dog hair the vacuum did not pick up right next to the wall.  You decide that since you have already done this much cleaning, you may as well do it right.  You get out the vacuum and use the hose to get the edges by the baseboards.  You finish vacuuming and finally finish the baseboards.  As you are going to put the cleaning supplies away, you see more dirt on the doors, so you clean those as well.  By this time there is more dog hair on the tile, so it needs to be vacuumed once again before you can mop.  You finish vacuuming and as you are going to dump the filter of the vacuum the god damn dog hears something outside, runs to the door knocking over the vacuum and sending the filter flying across the floor.  You yell a few choice words at the stupid dog that caused this whole mess to begin with and vacuum up the mess she just made for the 4th time tonight.  After vacuuming you get out the mop.  You are exhausted but decide you should at least finish the job you started.  After mopping all of the tile, you stand in one place realizing you were so tired that you started mopping in the wrong place and now have to stand and wait until the floor dries.  Your lovely dog seeing that you are obviously alone and in need of attention brings you a toy.  When you don’t take it from her, she drops it and gets another one. You finally decide that you can see where this is going and decide it is worth walking on the wet floor.  You finally finish cleaning and start getting ready for bed.  You drop a pill bottle on the floor and as you bend down to pick it up, you realize you did not clean the baseboards in the bathroom and feel compelled to do it.  As you finally climb into bed and realize you have finished cleaning and your house looks great, you hear the dog lying on the tile scratching herself.  If she is scratching herself, that means she is shedding. If she is shedding, there will be hair on the floor.  This makes you realize that as long as you have a dog, you will need a Roomba.

Oh how I wish I could just say no, and make this a quick post. But that would be a lie, and this month is all about telling the truth. So I shall.

I wish I could tell you [...]]]> Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Oh how I wish I could just say no, and make this a quick post. But that would be a lie, and this month is all about telling the truth. So I shall.

I wish I could tell you I’ve never thought about it. Or that it crossed my mind once, and then I moved on. Neither of those are true. I’ve thought about it more than once. Quite a bit in certain parts of my life. The first time I can remember seriously thinking about it was right after Jason and I got in our first huge fight after we’d been married. It was September of 2005, and I remember thinking what a huge mistake I’d made in marrying him against my gut feelings. It had only been three months, so I knew there was no way I could get divorced (my parents were still paying for the wedding), but I didn’t know what else to do. I thought about how, and when, and where. And then things got more tolerable, and the need to quit faded. It came back again right before I finally made the decision to be done with being married. But by then I’d committed to donating my kidney to Kelly. I’m pretty sure that saved my life, then.

I’ve thought about it periodically since then. Especially last year when I was unemployed. Actually, I thought about it a LOT last year. I couldn’t handle the stress of being a burden to Donald. I couldn’t handle the rejections, or the plain being ignored by prospective employers. I couldn’t handle not being good enough for even an entry position. I couldn’t handle people buying houses, getting married, getting pregnant, or moving on with their lives while I couldn’t. Because I was a worthless unemployed loser with a TON of debt, who no one wanted to hire. I thought about suicide a LOT last year. I thought about driving off a cliff, or overpass. Or taking some lethal combination of pills.

It’s better now, for the most part. I am gainfully employed and able to support myself. I’m no longer a burden. (Yes, I know Donald never saw it like that, but this isn’t written from his perspective.) I still have those days, those moments where I wonder if things just wouldn’t be better off without me around. The days where I see someone else at a part of their lives where I desperatly want to be, and a part of me would rather die than wait any longer. Because waiting hurts, and it sucks. And sometimes I just don’t want it to hurt anymore.

But I’m still here.

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I had to think about this one for a long time before I could come to a conclusion. [...]]]> Yes, I know I skipped day 24, but it’s complicated and I’m not done yet. I’ll get back to it before the 30 days are up, I promise.

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I had to think about this one for a long time before I could come to a conclusion.  The reason I’m still alive today is…

…because I’m not dead. TADA!

Seriously? I’m starting to question the sanity of the person who came up with these “truth” prompts. Although, if I were a more “spiritual” person, I could probably come up with a more serious answer. Like, I’m still alive because my purpose in life is to do <insert something wonderfully fabulous here> before I die, and I haven’t done that yet.  So, let’s see, what have I not done that the universe could possibly be waiting for? I’ve donated a kidney already, and I’m still alive, so that can’t be it. I’ve not had kids yet, but considering the bazillion children just waiting to get families, I know that can’t be it either. Buy a house? Probably not. Finish my life list? Maybe, but it’s doubtful that the universe is overly concerned with my whackjob list of things to do before I die (unless the universe wants in on the Beans tournament, and in that case I’m happy to oblige).

I really have no idea why I’m still alive today. Probably to entertain you with lame posts like these, in the hopes that you’ll at least smile for a couple seconds. How’d I do?

Oh here we go again. Assuming this wouldn’t change my life as it is now, I wish I’d finished college when I started it the first time. I also wish I’d picked a major that I had a career in.

When I went to [...]]]> Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

Oh here we go again. Assuming this wouldn’t change my life as it is now, I wish I’d finished college when I started it the first time. I also wish I’d picked a major that I had a career in.

When I went to San Diego State straight out of college, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Hell, all I knew was that I didn’t want to be in college. I was majoring in astronomy when I started, simply because I had an astronomy class in high school that I loved. It took exactly one astronomy class for me to discover I absolutely did not love astronomy enough to have that be my major. But since I didn’t want to be in college to start with, I wasn’t attending class much. The classes I attended religiously, however, were my American Sign Language classes (both beginner and intermediate). I adored the classes. My teacher was deaf (which is actually unusual), so we were completely immersed in signing, whether we wanted to be or not. It was amazing. Not surprisingly, they were also the only classes I got A’s in. In hindsight, I really wish I’d changed my major right then to ASL or Sign Language Interpreting or something along those lines. I might have been inspired to actually get decent grades.

After I was “academically disqualified” (read:I failed out) from San Diego State, I went to community college for a few years to try and figure out what I wanted to do. While there, I took a few psychology classes from an amazing teacher, who made me love psychology. That is eventually what I majored in when I transferred to Cal Poly Pomona. (Well, technically I majored in Psychology until my last year when I switched to Behavioral Science because it required less daytime classes and I was a full time night student.) I love psychology still, but I was quite a chunk through with the required elements when I realized I do not have the personality to work in the psychology field, in any aspect. Additionally, while I was in school I was working full time at a job that I thought I had a career in. As it was, I didn’t really put everything I had into school, since I thought I was set, plus working and going to school at the same time is really hard. Had I focused on school when that was the only thing I had to do, I’m sure things would have gone smoother for me.

Today I don’t work in psychology at all. I work in customer service, and while I’m sure some of my psychology training helps me, it’s certainly not what my focus is. Honestly, if I could afford to go back to school now, I’d probably try for a degree in American Sign Language, and then get a job doing interpreting. Maybe in my next life.

I don’t wish I hadn’t done many things. I like where I am today, and every decision I’ve made in my life has led me to where I am. However, if I could change something and manage to keep the rest of my [...]]]>

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I don’t wish I hadn’t done many things. I like where I am today, and every decision I’ve made in my life has led me to where I am. However, if I could change something and manage to keep the rest of my life intact, I would.

When Jason and I were married (and even before that) we ran up a LOT of credit card debt. It was always under the (completely misguided and naive) assumption that he was eventually going to get a kickass job and we’d be able to pay it back with ease. You need not tell me how stupid that was. I’m well aware.  The debt was in my name because I was the one with good credit. You can see where this is going, I’m sure. When we got divorced, the debt stayed with me. Yes, California is a community property state and technically everything could have been split right down the middle. But I just wanted it over.  I kept all the furniture and all the debt. At the time it was worth it, since I LOVE my bedroom set and my couch. Now? I might have done things a little differently.

I really wish I’d been smarter about running up all the debt I did. I wish I’d thought it through, and stayed away from the extra credit cards. My life now would be SO much easier if I didn’t have massive credit card payments to deal with. We’ve been renting our house for almost 2 years now, and just recently got notice that the company we rent from is going to be selling the house. Once we find out what they’re listing it for, we can determine if we’re able to buy it or if we need to find some other place to live. If I’d been smarter with my money sooner in my life,  we’d have a lot more options in terms of housing.

So that’s what I wish I hadn’t done. Charged so much on credit cards, because it’s completely crippling me now.