Stunned
I am no longer employed.
Writing that tiny sentence is more painful that I imagined it would be. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason, but I still don’t believe it. I was laid off from my job of almost 8 years last Thursday, and a week later I’m still not sure it’s sunk in yet. Business has been getting bad, and we’d had a lot of layoffs in the last year. But I’d just heard that we were doing “ok” and so I thought that really meant “ok”. I had no idea it meant I’d be out of a job. I also thought there were people who would go before me. People who have been there significantly less years than I had. I was obviously wrong.
My first reaction when they told me was “How could they do this to me?” and still, it’s the one question I keep repeating in my head. I know I can find another job, so I wasn’t as worried about that. But I felt so betrayed. Still feel so betrayed. My favorite part about my job was the people, hands down. It was family owned and operated, and my coworkers came to be part of my family. We had game nights, we went to the movies, we swapped organs. So when I was abruptly dropped from the family, I was understandably (in my opinion) hurt. I know I’ll get to the point where I’m not as angry, not as hurt, and can understand that this was a financial business decision and not a personal attack. But I’m not there yet.
For the past week I’ve been waffling as to what I want to do with my life. My first instinct was to go back to school and get a masters degree in something useful. A B.A. in Behavioral Sciences isn’t really something I can use. So I called my old school to see if I could get in there. They’re not talking admissions for anything before Fall of 2010. So that’s out. I checked the local college, because they have a great sign language program (and being an interpreter has always been my dream job). ALL of the classes are full, but I got on the waitlist for a couple. Class starts next week. I’m not holding my breath, but it’s worth a shot. If I don’t get in, well then I put my nose to the grindstone and find a job.
At least now I know that having coworkers that are “family” is not job security. Next time I just need to make myself irreplaceable.
8-31-09 Edited to Add: I have never felt, and will never feel that donating my kidney should have given me job security. She is my friend, plain and simple. It also happened that she was technically my boss, but that never came to play in my decision. It was the friendship that we have that made me decide to do it. I mentioned it solely to illustrate the close relationship I have with my coworkers. Not working with them will not change that. We are still friends, and will remain friends as long as humanly possible.
I’m so sorry. Getting laid off sucks. If it makes you feel any better my husband actually works for family and he got a 30% paycut in May with no word on when he will get it back. Even though they have hired not one but two new employees in the past month.
Awww. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there quite recently, right down to the whole being taken aback by the entire situation. If you even need anyone to talk to, feel free to call.
I’m so sorry Denora. I think you described your feelings well — being angry and taking it personally? How can you not? Everyone likes to say that business isn’t personal, but of course it is. It’s part of your life, something you prioritize, plan around, and spend the majority of your waking hours doing. In a small company I’m sure that’s even more true. I hope you find something wonderful soon – something you would never have done without this turn of events. Thinking of you.
Oh Denora, I am so sorry!
I do not know if you remember this but grandpa worked for Cal Chrome for 30 years, and in his 30th year, they re-organized and fired him. He and grandma were devastated! We were all older and just out of the house. He was panicked and she was already trying to decide what they could live without. He was after a week able to get another job, better than the previous job making way more money, company car, etc. Great for his ego. It was a start up company and he brought all of his contacts/clients with him. After about 2 years, they fired him saying they could hire another guy at 1/2 the price to finish what he had started. Again, devastated. He opted to retire at that point. I remember him telling me at that time, that you as the employee will always be more loyal to the company than they will be to you, and to always watch out for your own best interests because they won’t. It i8s hard to live like that, but there is so much truth in that.
You are now in a very unique place. You can now re-write your life, the way you want. Go for it! Do exactly what you want to do. Sign language interpreter? Do It! It is a great job!
Love you!
Hey D, Sorry to hear about that. It is a tough lesson and it is unfortunate that following your level of dedication and commitment on both a personal and professional level that they were willing to show you the door with no vaseline! Reprehensible, but standard fare for business…in business you have no friends, you’re just working with people who, when times are bad, will be happy to slit your throat if it means they survive. Regardless of what you have done with or for them. I am sure you will be wary of what you are willing to invest in the next place you are involved with.
Anyway, as Robin says, you do now have a clean slate, and the world is your oyster. Time to kick back a bit and assess what you want to do. Maybe you could get some OJT in the sign language arena? While you would not make much money, have you given any consideration to doing something like joining the Peace Corps (http://www.peacecorps.gov/) or Teach For America (http://www.teachforamerica.org/) or AmeriCorps (http://www.americorps.gov/)? You could make a huge contribution at a grass root level and feel really good about what you are doing. Way different than a business situation, and you may be well suited for that community service type of work. Again, not much money, but you can feel really good about it. Besides, isn’t that what a sign interpreter does? Isn’t it a community service position? So maybe you could get trained and get paid at the same time if you explore some of these opportunities. You also have the benefit of being essentially unfettered, and you can go anywhere and do anything…don’t forget that. You are young and mobile and smart…so you could have some really cool experiences while gaining the experience you want/need. Anyway, food for thought. Hang in there, I know you’ll do great whatever you end up choosing. Love ya…