A year ago today I made a list of things I’d like to improve about myself. In the interest of keeping myself honest and accountable, I decided to revisit the list and see how I’d done in the last year.

Things I wanted to change:

• Quit biting my nails – I have, actually. I stopped in June right after my Grandpa passed away. I was so stressed out that I was biting my nails to the point where my fingers were bleeding. (Gross, I know.) I went out and got acrylic nails put on, and kept them for about 3 weeks. When they came off, I didn’t start biting my nails again like I thought I would. I kept them short at first, so as not to tempt myself, but now they’re long and manicured and actually quite nice looking. I am extremely proud of myself for accomplishing this!
• Stop putting myself down - I can’t say I’ve stopped completely, because that would be a lie. But I have extremely reduced how often I put myself down. (Except in instances where I’m being funny. But I don’t count those.) I think a lot of it has to do with where I am in life now. I like myself a lot more and don’t feel the need to kick myself for every little mistake. It turns out that I’m human and humans make mistakes. And to think I thought I was perfect!
• Be more productive – This one is one I need to work on a little more. There are many times when I have the time to do the laundry list of things I’ve been meaning to do, and yet I find myself curled on the couch reading a book, or watching tv. Part of my excuse rationalization for this is that I get so little free time, I don’t want to spend it doing chores or things that are less fun than reading. But still, it’s something I’d like to work on a bit more in the next year.
• Be more positive - I’ve been better about this actually, and for some reason that surprises me. I have always considered myself a negative person (though I like to use the word “realistic” rather than negative), so I assumed that this would be one of the things I’d never be able to change. But when I was thinking about this list and my actions and thoughts over the last year, I was surprised to note that I really have been more positive in general. I don’t always assume the worst about people, or situations. I’m not a ray of sunshine by any means, but I’m not the constant grouch I used to be.
• Have more fun - I’m not sure why I put this on the list last year, because I can’t remember not having a lot of fun. I do, however, think I enjoy myself more now than I did last year. Things that didn’t used to be something I’d like, like trying new foods, are things I enjoy doing now. I think a lot of that comes from being more positive and not expecting everything to suck. I don’t think I’m having more fun, per say, but I’m enjoying life more. Make sense?
• Find a hobby I enjoy- Still searching on this one. The closest thing to an enjoyable hobby that I have is photography, but I don’t really do anything with it. I’m great about taking pictures, and craptastic about actually putting the pictures on display for others to see. Most of my pictures are sitting on a memory stick, or in a folder on my computer waiting to be uploaded to Flickr. I’ve learned a lot about photography in the last year, and I’m hoping the next year will bring even more education in that field.
• Be a better friend – I have been marginally better, but not as good as I’d like to be. I’ve made a lot of new friends in the past year, and I’ve made a conscious effort to keep up the relationship with the friends I’ve had for a while. When I told my friends about my divorce, they rallied around me to keep my spirits up. Same thing when my Grandpa passed away. Maybe we don’t talk every day or every week, but I know that if any of them needed me, I’d be there for them in a heartbeat. Just like they were for me.
• Be a nicer person – I totally have. Not so much all year long, but absolutely in the last 4 or 5 months. I’ve had a much happier and healthier outlook on life, and that’s been the key to being nicer to others. At least for me. Could I be nicer still? Probably. But the difference between now and a year ago is so astonishing that if I WAS nicer, people might have me committed.

So yay! Great improvements, if I do say so myself. I’ve actually found myself doing a lot of this sort of self evaluation lately, and it’s really making me feel a lot better about myself. The past year (or two, if you want to be honest) was a rough one for me, but I truly feel like I’ve grown a great deal. Let’s hope that doesn’t stop!