Baby Babbling, Part Deux

Last year I wrote this post because people just plain piss me off. Every single time I got sick, someone would ask me if I was pregnant. I’d probably have been a little more accepting of their curiosity if:

1. It wasn’t every single day
2. It didn’t constantly remind me that I wasn’t pregnant.

A year ago I wanted more than anything to have a baby. Jason and I weren’t getting along at all, and while I didn’t think having a baby would make things better, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting one. Thankfully, I didn’t do anything stupid, because having a baby at the same time I’m getting divorced would not be on my list of Smart Moves in Life. 

Even now that I’m single again (but dating an incredibly wonderful man), I can’t stop thinking about having babies (which would probably scare the aforementioned incredibly wonderful man if he really thought about it). I’d made the decision a while back that once Jason and I got a divorce, I’d look into the feasibility of being a single parent. I know it would be hard, and there are a plethora of people who think that kids need two parents in their lives (my opinion on that I’ll save for another day). But I really believe it’s something I could do. I’ve looked into adoption agencies, since there are so many children in the world who need parents, but it’s so incredibly cost prohibitive! The average cost of adoption ranges from $25,000 to $30,000! If you adopt domestically, the average drops to less than $20,000, but the percentage of single women accepted to adopt is incredibly low. So that idea is pretty much out.

I was thinking of maybe hitting up a sperm bank and doing the single mom thing via that route as well. There’s no application, home visit, lawyer fees, or extensive waiting period, as there is with adoption. My friends in Louisiana did exactly that a couple years ago, and their son turned two this summer and is completely adorable. The downside for me, is the lack of paternal medical history. What if the guy donated and had no idea that he had some sort of hereditary disease? I know that could be true with any parent, even if they’re active in the child’s life. but at least in that case, you have a heads up about it. For example, say Dad develops Disease X at age 45; you now know what to tell your child to watch for. It’s not a perfect plan. It has serious flaws, I wholeheartedly admit. But I’d rather have some idea of parental medical history, rather than just guessing as I go. Also, I have a hard time differentiating getting sperm from a bank from sleeping with a guy on the first date. To me, it’s about the same thing. (For the record, that’s my own personal opinion about my own life. I have zero problems with anyone else who decides to do either of those things.) Going to a sperm bank, however, is not completely out of my realm of possibilities. It’s just something I’ll have to think about if I need to.

Obviously, the ideal plan would be to fall in love and have a baby with someone. That’s the track I’m on right now, and I hope more than anything it works out. The logical & rational portion of my brain knows that it’s best to wait a while and see how things work out between us, before I start making any plans. But the emotional & irrational part of me is constantly reminding me that I am not getting any younger. Thankfully the logical & rational part of my brain is not only louder, but more stubborn. I just wish I knew how to silence the emotional & irrational side.