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April 2008
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The Feeds

Things I Learned at 3 (and 4)am…

…compliments of two of the funniest drunks guys I’ve ever been friends with.

  • Denny’s orange juice has no pulp. This is a good thing.
  • Coffee comes fresh off the "grill".
  • Freshly "grilled" coffee is scalding hot.
  • Owning a Hanson CD and a Tommy Lasorda manager baseball card is the same thing.
  • Saturday has 3 syllables. Friday has 2 syllables. They do not sound the same.
  • Sunday, Sunday, Sunday sounds better than Friday, Friday, Friday.
  • Butter does not belong on pancakes. This can be rectified simply by picking the butter up (with your hand) and tossing it in a bowl.
  • Pancakes should be cut into even slices, as seen on pizza pies everywhere.
  • A holder and a bowl are not the same thing. Coffee creamers belong in a bowl.
  • Sometimes testing your boundaries requires hitting your head on the passenger side window.
  • Some people take a ridiculously long time to eat their food.
  • Other people cannot look at Hot Fudge Brownie ala mode without wanting one. A screen of some sort should be placed around the brownie.
  • The Lumberjack Slam is the largest breakfast available without a steak. A point that must be made repeatedly.
  • Concord Grape Jelly is the only acceptable form of grape jelly.
  • "Gus breakfast candles weird less than click click genius" actually means something to someone.
  • "Click-click" is a very versatile phrase.

It won’t make sense to anyone who wasn’t there last night. But it was one of the most entertaining nights of my entire life. Thanks you three!

1 comment to Things I Learned at 3 (and 4)am…