Steal this, bitch!

I’m a little OCD about my online banking. I always have been, and I can’t foresee that changing anytime in the future. Up until my recent computer take down, I had the last SEVEN YEARS of my banking life saved in Quicken. I updated it every single day. (If I blogged as often as I checked my account, you guys would have pages upon pages of my babbling.) Since I was supremely stupid and didn’t back up my hard drive, that info is all gone now. Which, I’ll admit, infuriates me. Sometimes I can’t believe how stupid I was/am.

But I digress…

This morning, as is my habit, I pop online to check the status of my account. The bank account looks good, the loan payment I made went through, and all of my bills have cleared. Excellent! Except…what’s that? The Visa balance looks a little high. I swear I’m going to kill Jason for using this card. Um.. $300 at Magic Mountain? $90 at Red Lobster? $73 at Mexicali? We didn’t charge those.

OH MY HELL SOMEONE STOLE THE CREDIT CARD!

So I run to my purse, and my card is sitting there where it belongs. I tear through his wallet, and his card is also there. Great. Someone has taken the card number, and probably my social security number, and now I’ll have to change my name and address and I’ll never get a new car or house and I’ll be fighting creditors forever!! (That’s how my mind works. Small problem A immediately means Huge Problem C. Logic need not apply.)

My bank is awesome. They had already noticed the change in usage (the last time I used the card was in August) and had put a fraud notice on it, awaiting confirmation. I was to get a telephone call today, asking me to verify the sudden unusual charges on the account. I just beat them to it. The card had already been denied for an additional $400 in charges, on top of the $565 they’d already spent. I’m guessing the bastards who took it weren’t too pleased that my bank is on top of things. But they’re super wonderful and I love them to bits! All we have to do is fill out a fraud form and send it back in to them. The account balance has already been transfered to a new account, and our new cards are already in progress. Done! 15 minutes on the phone, and life was back in order. Of course, I checked with Experian and put a little safety alert thing on our accounts, just in case someone has our Social Security numbers too. I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about, but I felt better after doing it.

After I handled it, I got a lecture on proper card safety and care from my dearest darling husband.  Apparently, you should cover the keypad when at the store or gas station and entering in your PIN or Zip Code. OH MY SAINTED AUNT, really? I never would have known to do that, since I’ve not had a credit card and/or debit card for the last TEN YEARS! I know, I know he’s just trying to help, but I was a little offended that he assumed this was my fault. Then I was told it HAD to be because of that virus that killed the computer. Um, no.

1. I don’t keep a record of any credit card or account numbers on the computer. Ever.
2. I dump my cache and clear my history EVERY SINGLE TIME I pay the bills online. Overkill and probably useless? Possibly. But it makes me feel better.
3. As soon as I realized there was potentially a bug in the machine (within 15 seconds of it crashing) I disconnected the internet. Even if there WAS information on my hard drive, there’s no way it could find it and send it that quickly.

So, yes, he’s worried and he was trying to help me be a little safer, but did I need a lecture? Particularly after I’d already discovered and handled the problem? I think not.

And to the person and/or peoples who stole the card: I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. All 3 days of it. I hope that you REALLY needed whatever it was you purchased. And that you had a great time at Magic Mountain (even if I wasn’t invited) and brought home souvenirs. Because Karma is a bitch. And she’s coming after your ass.