I am a huge Angels baseball fan. I’ve loved them since I was a kid, and that continues on today. When Jas and I lived in Anaheim, we went to the games at least once a week, if not more. Now we live a little further away, but we (or I) go at least a couple times a month. Watching in person is much more fun than watching on tv. Most of my fun, aside from watching the Angels win, comes from my intense love of people watching (and mocking). Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of scary trends at the ballpark, and recently I began compiling a list of dress code rules that I would have at Angel Stadium, should I ever own the team. After you read the rules, you’ll notice that I won’t have a whole lot of people left who actually pass the test. But come on people, it’s quality, not quantity, right?
Disclaimer: This list is intended to be humorous in nature and is not an attack against any specific person or persons. Unless you’re a Yankees fan. Then it is.
1. You may not wear articles of clothing that have logos or names of other Major League Baseball teams, if that team is not playing on the day you enter the park. So if the Angels are playing the Red Sox, you may have Red Sox paraphenilia. However, if they’re playing the Twins, that Red Sox stuff needs to stay home.
a. You may not wear Yankees attire. Ever.
2. You may wear articles of clothing that have other sports teams on them, provided they are not Major League Baseball teams. This includes, but is not limited to, minor league baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccer, or educational institution teams.
a. Should you choose to wear articles of clothing from other sports teams, you are subject to being laughed at for not knowing what sport you are watching.
3. You may not wear articles of clothing that have the names of Angels players who no longer play for the Angels, if they are still active in Major League Baseball. Yes, Joe Schmoe played for us last year. Yes, you have a shirt with his name on it. But he plays for someone else now. Get a new shirt. Support CURRENT players, not guys who deserted us.
a. You may, however, wear articles of clothing with the names of past Angels players who are now retired, even if they did not retire as part of the Angels organization.
b. You may also continue to wear clothing of a player who has been sent down to the minors, as long as he is still on an Angels farm club team.
4. You may not wear heels to a baseball game. Bring a change of clothes if you need one. But heels are for fancy venues, or walking the streets. They are not for a baseball game.
5. If your shirt does not cover your fat roll, you will be required to purchase a new shirt, or leave the park. Plain and simple.
I think that should cover it. I tried to ban Yankee fans from the park altogether, but I figure I’ll just raise the beer prices on the days New York is in town. That should be punishment enough.